[U]ser[F]riendly[S]exy[S]tar

* forever *

2007-05-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

i'd rather not feel than feel anything at all.

i have a lot of things inside my head and i haven't cried for the longest time. i usually cry easily but i guess i've changed. everything's changed.

tears, escape from my eyes.

classes start on wednesday. good thing. i need something new to replace the old.

i hate it when i complicate things.

goodbye. it's time to cut off the excess baggage.

* when one succumbs to darkness *

2007-04-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

more than 30 lives perished.

he said, "I died like Jesus Christ." no, you didn't. He died for us. You died for yourself.

God, bless the souls of those who suffered.

* The Land of Smiles*

2007-04-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

I'm on the third day of my Thai Escapade and I must say that it has been really fun. =)

My Mom's busy working on her conference, so I'm alone for the most part and I'm not complaining. I love all the "me" time I'm getting.

The pool here is to die for. Sure, I've seen better pools but the water in the pool is great. It isn't sticky. It's not a tub full of chlorine. It's warm. I love it.

So far, I've done the following things:

1. Yoga

I did this this morning. It was my first time. I didn't expect it to be that tiring. After the session was over I was dripping with sweat (mayber because of the heat..but anyhoo..). It was super fun, though. I loved the instructor. Her name is Simona Granata and she's Italian! I love her skin color. It's kinda honey meets olive. I love it. She was so nice. We talked for a while (because I arrived 15 minutes early) and I found out that she has been travelling around the world. The Six Senses Spa (the company that manages this place: Evason) sends her around the world (mostly in Asian countries) to teach Yoga, Breathing (the proper way), and Anatomy (to the massage therapists at the spa). I really enjoyed Yoga and I must look for a Yoga place in Alabang or BF.

2. Ear Candling

A lot of people aren't aware of what ear candling is. For those of you who don't know, it's a method that used beeswax to completely clean the ears. Meaning, all the ear wax and other "gunk" inside your ears will be taken out. It sounds gross but it wasn't. It was quite relaxing becuase they gave me a scalp and facial massage...and I love that. The therapist even let me smell a lavander scent that immediately calmed me down. So, how much wax did I have? Not a lot actually. I'm addicted to cleaning my ears so that isn't a surprise. By the way, this was my first time to experience ear candling.

3. Archery

I am officially an archer. Not only because I will be studying in DLSU (the home of the Green Archers) but also because I actually tried the sport. I enjoyed it a lot! I must say that I wasn't bad. My instructor even told me that I could be an "archery expert!" Haha! Cool, right? Again, this is a first for me.

4. Swimming

Unlike the first three things, this isn't a first. Haha. How can I not swim? The beach is right there and so is the pool. I love it. =)

Before I arrived here, I expected a lot of Asians and a few Caucasians. To my surprise (and delight!) I was the only Filipina hanging out in the pool and other areas of the resort and all the rest are Europeans. Yes, Europeans. I love it. Everyone around me is talking in some foreign language that I do not comprehend. There are times when I go, "Am I in Thailand or the French Riviera??"

As much as I am enjoying my stay here, I cannot help but miss those back home. I miss my friends!!! I miss my Dad and brothers!! I miss mama! I miss DSL! I miss SKOODAH! I miss it all....I'll be back soon...=)

By the way, I'm not in Bangkok. I'm in Pranburi, about 230 kilometers south of Bangkok.

Ciao!!!! =)

deniaL

2007-04-05T06:09:00.000-07:00

when does one let go?

as much as one would love to hold on forever, spend every moment waiting...hoping. one wouldn't. one isn't stupid.

if life and all its circumstances are telling you to give up...give up.

if all the signs point to nothing...stop holding on.

if what you've been holding on to decides to show you that you should let go...you better do so.

don't be stupid. don't be naive. you deserve much better than this. you've been through enough.

*********

IN THE OTHER PART OF MY BRAIN:

oh my gosh. it just sunk it. we graduated. high school is over. i know it's been days...but it just sunk in NOW. i cannot believe it.

someone hug me before i drown from all my tears. geez.

bid farewell to my brain cells

2007-04-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

thanks to Don Enrique (not sure if this is the one) about 90% of my brain cells have died.

simple story-telling turned into a difficult process that i don't ever want to do again.

i thought that april 20 came after april 22.

i was wondering why the volume went up when i thought i was pressing the volume down button. it turned out that i was actually pressing the volume up button. i struggled with this for an hour or so.

i can't remember the e-mail i use for Friendster. i seriously can't. i tried a zillion possible e-mail ads but nothing worked. i wrote the correct one down somewhere but i don't remember where. goodbye Friendster.

my spelling continues to die. i'm used to be a good speller but over these past few feeks my skills vanished. only i can spell download like this: downlowd. i hate it. you--the one reading this--don't know how many times i re-typed words because they were misspelled.

kill me now. pray for my brain cells to come back to life.

RANDOM THING I LEARNED TODAY: There is a Europe style keyboard. The punctuation marks are located in different places. Weird. I want to go to Europe.

runaway

2007-03-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

In life, there are many obstacles to face. There are endless problems that come about. There are enormous monsters that wish to devour your everything. There are huge cracks where you shall fall into darkness. There are times when you are alone, starving to be safe.

The brave thing to do is to face all of these things. The right act to follow is to never give up. The choice that we have all been taught to make is to fight with all we have got.

As much as I would love to say that I am one of those people who choose to be brave and right, I am not. I succumb to the weakness within my soul. I decide to runaway and escape all of my problems. If there is any way I can just let go, I would.

I am weak. That is the truth.

I admire those who are strong enough to defeat the devils. I envy those who are not empty inside.

Every night, one of the things I pray for is strength. I pray that someday I will be able to stay...and face them all. I still wait for that day to come.

tears fall as the night ends.

2007-03-27T04:59:00.000-07:00

50 FIRST REACTIONS
Thanks to sam for this. I'm bored and I need a blog entry...so here I go.

1. Beer: looks like pee.

2. Anorexics: need food.

3. Relationships: are either good or bad.

4. Your Last Ex: haha...was a good one, but it wasn't meant to be.

5. Power Rangers: ninja turtles. i don't know why.

6. Life: is a rollercoaster.

9. The President: of the Philippines is misunderstood.

10. Awesome: is how much I've changed over the years.

11. Cars: are good.

12. Gas Prices: are high.

13. Halloween: pumpkins.

14. Sex: can get you pregnant [if you're a girl] and is good for burning calories.

15. Religion: is all about faith.

16. Myspace: can kill you.

17. Fear: failure.

18. marriage: before i'm 30.

19. Blondes: not in the Philippines.

20. Brunettes: brown.

21. Redheads: are unique.

22. Asians: yellow undertones.

23: Pass the time: observe and think.

24. One night stands: NEVER.

25: Cell Phone: is sad.

27: Smoke: bad for the skin.

28: Vanilla Ice cream: basic.

29: Port a Potties: unsanitary.

30: Higschool Life: is about to end. =c

31. Pajamas: are comfortable.

32. stars: awesome.

33. Wet Socks: eeew.

34. Alcohol: Johnson and Johnson. 500 mL.

35. The word love: is all around me.

36. Friends: give love.

37. Money: will it really not buy you happines??

38. Heartache: i can't take another one.

39. Time: is sweet.

40. Divorce: shouldn't be casual.

41. Dogs: bark.

42. Underpants: lace.

43. Parents: are very important to me.

44. Kids: 2 is enough.

45. Stripper: intriguing.

46. Blogs: please don't be a stalker.

47. News: should be given attention.

48. Weddings: i will have one.

49. Pizza: pepperoni.

50. Kleenex: need a whole box on Friday.

salamat.

2007-03-18T06:38:00.000-07:00

in less than 2 weeks high school is about to end. i know i've written more than one entry about graduation but there can never be enough entries about the end of everything i loved.

through the past four years of my life i've learned so many different things. i've learned that no matter how hard you try to follow your plan there are uncontrolable forces that will disrupt them. i've learned that taking chances works side-by-side with boundaries. i've learned that there is a very thick line between believing in yourself and too much air in your head. i've learned how to accept everythng that happens in life because, in the end, everything will fall into place and you will see things in a different perspective. most importantly, i've learned how to love and let go.

no matter how much i dislike my school there is still a part of me that will miss it. i grew up there and it will always be special. even though it hasn't always delivered to all my expectations it is still an integral part of my growth. i am comfortable in that place. comfortable, not in terms of its water supply, food production, and availability of facilities...but i will always feel at home in it. i don't know why. maybe because i did not only spend four years of my life in that place but i spent more than thirteen years of my existence there.

i have met so many people in my school. a few of them left while most of them stayed behind and finished the high school rollercoaster with me. whether they stayed or they left...i love them all. i am so thankful for everything that i went through with my schoolmates. thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you...thank you.

the coming days will serve as our last hurrah. our last few days to say whatever we have to say and do whatever we have to do. i will do my best to do my part but you have to do yours to.

i love all of you, i really do.

go class of 2007...we survived. =)

*******************

i am so addicted to this song. do i relate? haha. that's for you to decipher.

The End of Everything I Love

by: Daphne Loves Derby

"take it or leave it" were the words you chose over mine
so much reminds me of you
and i miss your smile.
10:01 and this night is gone
i spent it ill while the world moves on
if time alone was the brushed that paints
with solace and misfortunate
my life would be a work of art.

but ive seen this all before
things shouldnt have gone this far
we shouldnt have gotten so close
for what made me believe

was this the girl who made him forget all hes known
everytime he looked into her eyes
was it the boy who decided to give up his heart and run away
today is gone
tomorrow's mine but im still alone (breath deep)
im still alone (keep breathing)
im still alone (keep singing)
im still alone
im still alone (keep breathing)
im still alone without you

bleeding out so much more
spilling blood since you left
if i had a second chance id live my life waiting to death

so i walked to the store
spent a buck fifty in quarters
to buy the ring you said you liked
cuz im thinking of you now
now i drive to the coast
the place where i drowned all my fears
let the water set me free
im screaming, cant you hear?
or is this the end of everything i love
or are we destined for more?
why cant you look me in the eyes and tell me what you want to
i know you want to.. so bad.. so bad

but ive seen this all before
things shouldnt have gone this far
we shouldnt have gotten so close
what made me believe?

it was you who made me forget all i had known
everytimg i looked into your eyes
and it was me who decided to give up my heart and run away
today is gone
tomorrow's mine but im still alone
im still alone
im still alone
im still alone
im still alone
im still alone without you

* calendars=depressing *

2007-02-08T02:08:00.000-08:00

a couple of days ago my school released the calendar of activities. when i read the calendar, it hit me...we are graduating.

our MCUs for the minor subjects will start on the 26th of February. our MCUs for the major subjects will start on the 7th of March. our oral defense will be on the 13th of March.

and lastly...on the 30th of March, our high school years will officially end.

i can't help but feel a great deal of sadness. i can't believe that after four years of seeing each other everyday, we will part ways.

some might forget what happened in our humble school. some of us might choose to delete all of this. some are stupid, ignorant, selfish people who choose to be annoying.

i, on the other hand, will never let go of high school. i choose to be attached.

hold me, i am falling weak.

2006: one awesome rollercoaster

2007-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

this is my year 2006 survey. thanks to my dear cousin, sam, for posting this on her blog. =)

1. What things did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
-- wow. Super dami.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
-- I made a resolution but I do not remember it. Haha.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
-- yes, actually.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
-- no and thank God for that.

5. What countries did you visit?
-- USA. It was super fun. Major family bonding.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
-- strength. I needed a lot of it in 2006 and I’m sure I’ll be needing more in 2007.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-- it’s more like a period of time. Third term of junior year. I’m sorry, but that was just awesome. Pati na rin summer. The BEST summer ever. All bonding moments with my batch [graduating na eh]. This includes the field trips, town moments after the Christmas Party, our birthday party, etc.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
-- I consider each day of my life as an achievement. O diba? Galing ng line na ‘yun eh. Seriously though, I do consider everyday an achievement. Life is filled with uncertainty and it takes a lot out of us to go through each day. As much as I would love to take control of everything in my life, it’s just not possible and surviving each day of vagueness is definitely an achievement. Snaps to all us for surviving everyday.

9. What was your biggest failure?
-- underestimating someone. Because I underestimated that person, I lost something very valuable. Arrogance also took its toll on me. It was about not giving it my all thinking that it could never be taken away from me but in the end, I was wrong.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
-- CHICKEN POX!!!!! The worst thing ever. I almost missed the Masquerade Ball because of this!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
-- the best things in life are free, dear.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
-- Everyone who took a chance and risked being hurt. Those who broke their walls down and started to let people in.

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
-- not depressed..more like annoyed and bothered. Pretentious people, “ehe” [snaps to sam for this term] girls, and dirty politicians.

14. Where did most of your money go?
-- BF sessions! Spa-ing…=) impulsive buys…

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
-- BF sessions…I love…=) EK! =) our birthday party…=)

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
-- Buttons by The Pussycat Dolls…=)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder?
– slightly sadder this year..haha…
ii. thinner or fatter?
– thinner this year. Haha. =)
iii. richer or poorer?
– sadly…im poorer this year…

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
-- hmmm…more charity work, I guess…one can never do too much charity work…

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
-- spending…over thinking…

20. How will you be welcoming the New Year?
-- LOTS OF FIREWORKS! Snaps to Uncle John. =)

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
-- haha…nope…puro jamoves [again, snaps to sam for this term!] lng! =)

22. How many one-night stands?
-- NONE…puh-lease…

23. What was your favourite TV program?
-- one tree hill is a MUST. I also love HOUSE, GREY’S ANATOMY and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
-- nope. i hated them last year too. Haha.

25. What was the best book you read?
-- Second Chance by James Patterson

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
-- this year? Panic at The Disco, Yellowcard, Snow Patrol and Christian Bautista [I love his voice. =)]

27. What did you want and get?
-- a fantabulous summer. Keeping the Romulo spirit alive. Meeting a lot more people [I’m a people person.].

28. What did you want and not get?
-- SC Presidency [hello Jeremy! Haha!]. that’s the only thing I can think of. Haha.

29. Favorite film of this year?
-- The Prestige. CARS [I love GUIDO! =)]. John Tucker Must Die.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
-- PARTY!!!! I loved it. =) 16 years old. =)

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
-- haha…the first one, my closest friends know what and I’d rather not say what it is. Two, I can’t think of anything else.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
-- more legs [i.e. skirts and shorts]. It’s getting hotter. Flip flops, I love. Flats, I like. Bigger bags. Fabulous Accessories.

33. What kept you sane?
-- FRIENDS, I love you. Family. God.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
-- hmmmm….Sergio Aguero. Only soccer people would know who he is.

35. Who is your real-person crush?
-- I had a lot of crushes this year. SUPER. I think this year holds the record for my most number of crushes. Haha.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
-- a lot, actually,
The War on Iraq. Because of the proposition for the semi-finals in the Debate Comp, I realized that we have been blinded from the truth. They have been showing us what they want us to see; and most of the time it is void of what is actually going on. We have been exposed to only one side of the story. They have dictated who is the enemy; all the while, they are the ones we should doubt and fear.

37. Who did you miss?
-- no one. I had everyone I needed. =)

38. Who was the best new person you met?
-- summer camp people. =)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006
-- Don’t be afraid of change. You may lose something good, but you might gain something better. Mind you, I still fear change quite a little.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
-- “People are all the same and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name and if I’m ugly than so are you.” – Ugly by Sugababes
“Life is a rollercoaster. Just gotta ride it.” – Life Is A Rollercoaster by Ronan Keating

41. Rate the year 2006 in a scale of 10.
-- 10. I learned a lot about life, my friends, my family and myself. =) Take note, I didn’t get only one thing that I wanted this year. Thank God for that. =)

a picture can paint a thousand words

2006-12-18T05:13:00.000-08:00

i shall let them speak for themselves.

class 2007

2006-12-15T18:39:00.000-08:00

i felt the need to post this.

we'll be graduating soon. i know that this means that our four years of hard work will finally pay off but i can't help help but feel a great sense of melancholy.

second term officially ended yesterday. three months more and we will be gone. on some other occassion, i consider three months to be a long period of time; but in this circumstance, three months is just too short.

this is my last year and i must admit that nothing went according to plan. for the first months of senior year i wanted it to end already but during the past couple of months this year morphed into a good year. it still isn't the best year but it sure is worth remembering.

i don't do well with goodbyes. in fact, i hate them.

third term will be very difficult.

* 7 minutes *

2006-12-10T01:54:00.000-08:00

seven minutes before i began to study for economics, advanced algebra and trigonometry. this is what i did.

demand for a product is significantly affected by such factors as the availability of substitues and the prices of such substitutes.

today i bid farewell to aurora. never has she failed me since i began trusting her in fifth grade. the time has come for me to let her go. farewell aurora, farewell.

meet my new friend casio. two hundred forty nine functions and so much more.

my seven minutes is over. it's time to study now.

damn that storm

2006-11-30T01:36:00.000-08:00

this is the effect of intense boredom, intense rage, and PhotoImpact.

i am bored out of my mind.

there are no more requirements to keep myself busy. where are the book reports, theses, and reports when you need 'em?

i asked my Dad if i could go to town and he said "Please defer going out until typhoon is out, and no more danger." i guess that's better than a simple "no."

not a single drop of rain has fallen from the sky yet the effin typhoon still managed to kill me of boredom. that is so sad.

to the typhoon: i hate you like hell. if i could shove ten thousand ping pong balls up your ass, i would.

random thought

2006-11-20T06:57:00.000-08:00

i love my friends. i just wanted to share that.

the earth is smiling today. =)

fast-forward

2006-11-14T18:30:00.000-08:00

i've been telling everyone that i am so excited for college but i can't help but wonder about what is to end.

four years of my life has just passed by.

i know i'm going to miss high school but the question is: how much am i going to miss it?

yes, my senior year is the worst year of my life but that doesn't erase the three awesome years prior to this year.

a lot of great memories have been made in high school. more importantly, i met the greatest set of friends. these are the people that have been there for me since the beginning. these are the people who made high school worth going through. they are the best.

so, why am i so excited for college?

a. senior year is simply sucking the fun out of my life. i need not elaborate on this one.

b. i've done a lot of research (meaning: i surfed through a dozen blogs of college students who are active in their schools) and i like what i've been reading. i'm starting to envy them.

c. i want to leave MDM..fast.

d. with the number of student organizations that are offered in college i'm sure i can find one (or two? or three?) that i can be active in. i love being in an organization. it does a whole lot for my self-image.

the thing is, i am looking too far ahead that i'm starting to ignore the present. edna mode said that looking back distracts us from the now and i agree; but can looking forward distract us from the now as well?

i'm trying hard to enjoy the present because in the future, i don't want to ask myself why was i in such a rush?

chicken pox blues

2006-11-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

i have chicken pox. crap.

and i thought my senior year could not get any worse...it just did.

why now? why? why? why? why now, when there's a school event. why now, when i have a fragile, nearly non-existent self-image. why now, when i need to be with my friends. why now???

Source: kids health

Symptoms of Chickenpox

Chickenpox causes a red, itchy rash on the skin that usually appears first on the abdomen or back and face, and then spreads to almost everywhere else on the body, including the scalp, mouth, nose, ears, and genitals.

The rash begins as multiple small, red bumps that look like pimples or insect bites. They develop into thin-walled blisters filled with clear fluid, which becomes cloudy. The blister wall breaks, leaving open sores, which finally crust over to become dry, brown scabs.

Chickenpox blisters are usually less than a quarter of an inch wide, have a reddish base, and appear in bouts over 2 to 4 days. The rash may be more extensive or severe in kids who have skin disorders such as eczema.

Some children have a fever, abdominal pain, sore throat, headache, or a vague sick feeling a day or 2 before the rash appears. These symptoms may last for a few days, and fever stays in the range of 100°–102° Fahrenheit (37.7°–38.8° Celsius), though in rare cases may be higher. Younger kids often have milder symptoms and fewer blisters than older children or adults.

Typically, chickenpox is a mild illness, but can affect some infants, teens, adults, and people with weak immune systems more severely. Some people can develop serious bacterial infections involving the skin, lungs, bones, joints, and the brain (encephalitis). Even kids with normal immune systems can occasionally develop complications, most commonly a skin infection near the blisters.

Anyone who has had chickenpox (or the chickenpox vaccine) as a child is at risk for developing shingles later in life, and up to 20% do. After an infection, VZV can remain inactive in nerve cells near the spinal cord and reactivate later as shingles, which can cause tingling, itching, or pain followed by a rash with red bumps and blisters. Shingles is sometimes treated with antiviral drugs, steroids, and pain medications, and in May 2006 the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a vaccine to prevent shingles in people 60 and older.

Contagiousness

Chickenpox is contagious from about 2 days before the rash appears and lasts until all the blisters are crusted over. A child with chickenpox should be kept out of school until all blisters have dried, usually about 1 week. If you're unsure about whether your child is ready to return to school, ask your doctor.

Chickenpox is very contagious — most kids with a sibling who's been infected will get it as well, showing symptoms about 2 weeks after the first child does. To help keep the virus from spreading, make sure your kids wash their hands frequently, particularly before eating and after using the bathroom. And keep a child with chickenpox away from unvaccinated siblings as much as possible.
People who haven't had chickenpox also can catch it from someone with shingles, but they cannot catch shingles itself. That's because shingles can only develop from a reactivation of VZV in someone who has previously had chickenpox.

**********************

some realizations while i was (and still am) confined in my room:

1. you will run out of shows to watch if you watch too much tv.

2. watching all three seasons of nip/tuck straight can be very traumatizing nonetheless, entertaining.

3. lying in bed all day makes you feel fat.

4. itchiness can never be felt if you take at least twenty pills a day and apply ointment every so often.

5. solitary confinement can make a person think too much....and i do not need to be thinking too much right now.

6. WiFi is life. i would not be living without it.

candy

2006-11-01T02:08:00.000-08:00

theres a plethora of types of candy in world. there's chewy, hard, minty, sour, sweet, spicy, big, small, swirly...and the list goes on.

i can get any type of candy i want, when i want. in fact, the candy manufacturers send me their best candy for free. they give me more than i need and more often then not they beg me to consume their candy.

the things is, i do not want their candy. heck, i don't even want candy.

i want chocolate.

i know that there are chocolate covered candies but those candies would not suffice.

i need my big bar of semi-sweet chocolate, with a soft and chewy caramel center. it must have the right amount of nuts to balance the sweetness with a little saltiness. it's much like a snickers bar..only better. to make this chocolate bar perfect, it has to have a hint of mint simply because i love mint.

i tried to get hold of this special chocolate bar but for some bizarre reason the manufacturers just won't give me some..not even a fraction of a bar.

all i wanted was a taste, a fantastic memory to forever keep...but they would not permit me to have that memory.

i cried my eyes out yet they did not care.

today, the candy manufacturers continue to send me their best batches of candy yet i reject them all because my heart yearns for the special bar of chocolate that i can never have.

i'd still want to be a lasalista pa rin

2006-10-11T05:12:00.000-07:00

WARNING: do not watch the video if you are an atenean and/or you are not in favor of DLSU. if you choose to watch this video, please keep your opinions to yourself [unless, of course, they are positive remarks].

this is a funny video. i love it. i'd still want to be a lasalista pa rin.
ANIMO LA SALLE!

closing cycles

2006-10-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

i've always loved this prose written by Paulo Coelho. it points out what is already so obvious. if something has ended for you, i urge you to read this. this essay has helped me move on and it can do the same for anyone else.

CLOSING CYCLES by PAULO COELHO

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at astandstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid ofcertain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisionsthat are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

******************************************

Close your cycles. Move on. It's the only thing you can do.

The past will remain in the past. No miracle can bring you back to when you were contented.

The people around you, the ones who care, can only do so much. Change has to come from within. Stop waiting and do the move yourself.

Let go of the things you left behind or have left you behind. Begin a new chapter. Seize the day. Enjoy the rest of your life.

Live. Love. Learn.

* XANGSANE *

2006-10-01T18:18:00.000-07:00

Typhoon Milenyo (international codename: xangsane)

Not only did Milenyo uproot trees and topple billboards and power poles, its brief onslaught on Thursday also emphasized the growing social divide in the country.

The Trinidad family is no stranger to long blackouts triggered not by natural calamities, but by poverty. In August, they spent about two weeks without electricity for failing to pay their bills. They’re expecting another disconnection order soon.

It’s one problem that’s seemingly alien to wealthy families seen by the Inquirer trooping to expensive hotels the other night. Not a few came in home attire -- shirt, shorts and slippers -- apparently expecting the cool hotel rooms to be home for the next two days or so.

Not far from the hotel, two shopping malls were packed with actual and window shoppers. The apparent common denominator was the yearning to escape the oppressive heat at home.

Lesson No. 1. Power and telephone lines must be buried in the Makati and Ortigas commercial districts like what has already been done in the Fort.

If the Philippines wants to be globally competitive in the call center business, then, by golly, we must provide these BPOs power and phone service 24/7.

2. The LRT and MRT must have a dedicated power connection 365 days a year.

As it is now, the light rail system depends on a number of several Meralco substations to deliver electricity and run the trains; when, say, the south of Pasig River Meralco franchise goes dead, the entire Baclaran-Monumento service unfortunately goes kaput as well.

3. Like the LRT, traffic lights also need independent power supply, plus back-up power source (battery and solar power) like those used in train crossing signals in other countries.

4. Edsa, C-5 and the South and North Luzon expressways must be rid of billboards.

5. To ease gridlock in the Makati commercial district, Ayala and Buendia can and must be converted into a one-way loop.

6. Builders need to review their condominium templates, especially those built like glass and concrete cages. Generators, no matter how powerful, are not designed to run nonstop for days.

7. Malls have now become the extensions of sala+dining+TV rooms of Metro Manilans. Rockwell did roaring business Thursday night--the lone mall left open with full power--from Makati village residents and condominium dwellers who were escaping the heat and the boredom of their darkened houses.

8. The local telcos will have to rely more on Wimax and other wireless means of delivering service to literally untangle themselves from the vagaries of nature.

9. When the weather cleared on Friday, the banks' ATM network, the supermarkets, and the malls were back on their feet despite electricity still unrestored. Should the government need insights on how to overcome supply-chain difficulties, the industry's backroom boys can fill up an entire how-to manual.

10. Filipinos, despite their toxic politicians and feckless bureaucrats, are still a cheerful lot. Eavesdropping on their exchanges of disaster stories, you would think that Milenyo was one big adventure.

interrogating terrorists

2006-09-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

the sports fest is something that everyone looks forward to every year.

this year, it was something that was supposed to turn things around. it was our last spark of hope.

today, when they gathered the entire high school body in the AVR, our whole batch, the seniors, was zealous. this is our last year and we want this year to be our year.

in the end, i realized that this year is just plain crappy. the sports fest can't even save us from the torment that we face everyday.

two basketball varsity members max. blue instead of red. january instead of now.

*big ass sigh*

oh well. c'est la vie.

i have to stop thinking about this.

i have other things to worry about; specifically, the geneva conventions and interrogating terrorists.

pump up the animo

2006-09-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

two down, one more to go.

i took the ACET yesterday and boy was i surprised. i expected a harder test. i expected a test that would make full use of all my brain cells. i expected a test that i would not finish.

im not saying that i'm surely going to pass ateneo it's just that the ACET was far from what everyone expected.

now, im preparing for the last test that i will take..the DLSU-CET. im feeling a great sense of anxiety. a lot of people have been telling me that the DLSU-CET is the hardest test im going to take. that's just great.

i really want to get in DLSU. i do not know what i will do if i fail to get in. my body will probably just shut down.

pray for me. DLSU is the one for me.

PROPS:

1. JEREMY TABERNERO - thanks for the ride..and great patience for me and lou...haha...

2. GOLD NAVEA - thanks for letting me and my friends cut in line...and entertaining me while waiting...*hug*

3. SAMANTHA NUNEZ - thanks for being a great (Atenean) cousin...and for bringing LOU to the high school buiLding...*super tyt hug*

4. LOU "BLESSED WITH MONEY" ORTILLA - thanks for being there! you made the ACET super fun! this was a great bonding moment...too bad you won't be taking the DLSU-CET...*blessed with money*

second term

2006-09-11T05:36:00.000-07:00

today was the first day of the second trimester...

1. i hyperventilated and was sent home. this is a normal occurence for me but this time i believe it's an omen of what's ahead this second term.

2. i was sent to the office because t. angie thought we [we: bea, france, debbie, edmarl, alex and fenelle] are involved in an organization that requires recruitment of members [read: fraternity, sorority, gang, and such]. wow. are you kidding me?? you are so0o0o0o0o talking to the wrong person.

3. the seniors will have a lunch meeting in the HQ [CAT headquarters] tomorrow. this means that we are going to talk about something big and from what i heard it's not going to be nice. ooooooyyyyyy.

4. the dummy for the school paper hasn't been finished yet. as editor-in-chief, i get the blame. even if i did my part and more...i still get the blame. wow.

5. i might once again be sent to the office for reasons that i cannot explain here. aysusmaryosep.

these are terrible signs for the first day. first term was crappy, but i believe that second term is going to be crappy-er. ooooyyyy.

this is supposed to be a fun and easy-going year but it's turning out to be one my worst years, if not the worst year ever.

save us.

land of make believe

2006-09-07T02:46:00.000-07:00

[Disclaimer: this is not addressed to anyone. it's just my creative juices flowing. so france, if you are reading this...relax.]

i'm in a place....

.....where we can run through the field together all day.....
.....where daisies, dahlias, and orchids surround us.....
.....where the weather goes perfectly well with every move we make.....
.....where we can show our true colors without being afraid of what others think because we have no one else but each other.....
.....where life can just pass us by and we wouldn't care at all.....
.....where we can happily position ourselves beneath the stars, and patiently wait for each other to fall asleep.....
......where just hearing you breathe strikes so much joy within my soul.....
.....where we can talk about everything.....
.....where we can fly to the sky and swim with dolphins.....
.....where pain does not exist.....
.....where no tears fall.....
.....where we are free to feel.....
.....where i can hear you laughing and see you smiling.....
.....where you feel for me what i feel for you.....
......where i can hold you close, and smell your sweet perfume.....
......where our hands fit perfectly together.....
......where your warmth destroys the coldness within me.....
.....where everything is perfect.....
.....where i never miss you because we are never apart.....
.....where we can actually be together.....

one might wonder where this place might be. it's in my dreams. it's in my heart. it's in my soul. it's my land of make believe.

life is STILL beautiful

2006-09-03T02:02:00.000-07:00

if you look at my entries from the 11th of august to the 2nd of september you will realize how fast my moods can change.

amazing is it not?

i've been blissful, sad, semi-happy, down right depressed and in need of help. wow. crazy self.

sometimes, all i do is watch the sky. if i watch the sky too long won't life pass me by?

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

going too fast? me? i don't think so. i might be going too slow, if not, i might not be moving at all.

i'm only sixteen for crying out loud! i need to stop stressing away my senior year. i must stop focusing on the negativities of my life. after all, i do have a very comfortable life, the best set of friends, the greatest parents and the most awesome brothers. i have a lot to thank God for.

i must crazily live life once again. sure, i may face a whole lot of stressful situations and i might not always get what i want but i'm sure God has better plans for me.

i can still save the world. i can do it. now, if superman comes along then that would just be too wonderful.

nothing is too wonderful to be true.

life was, is, and always will be beautiful it's just that sometimes not everyone can see its beauty.

why i need superman

2006-09-02T04:35:00.000-07:00

[Read: this entry may or may not be based on real emotion. do not talk to me about this entry but feel free to leave a tag.]

my world is slowly but surely falling apart.

the things i planned for are not happening.

there are times when i do not see meaning in life. there are times when i wonder if i will ever be happy again. behind my smiles and laughter there is a scared little girl who is afraid to feel again.

i always strive to make sure that the people around me are happy. i save them first. i forget that i need some saving myself.

someone once told me that i should not be afraid of taking risks. i followed that advice. i recently took a plunge. i let my guard down. i allowed myself to be vulnerable. i allowed myself to feel. what happened? i was shattered. i felt an emotion that i haven't felt for so long...and i didn't like it. now, i put up stronger and taller walls to hinder me from feeling...to hinder me from hurting...to hinder me from being human. i have once again frozen up.

where is my superman? where is that one person who will save me from all of this? is he saving someone else? is he lost? is he even there?

i need you. i need you here with me. who are you? come to me and we'll fly away together. please, please...save me.

panahon na

2006-08-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes people feel pain in one point in their lives and never want to feel pain again. They become numb, traumatized and forever changed because of one single moment in their life that practically shattered the very foundations of their outlook on love. That's why I believe that old flames should stay old so we can grow, so we can discover new things and learn new lessons. Old flames hold us back from growing, from moving forward and from making the most out of life. Old flames are great love stories, great for emo-moments, for sharing and for reminiscing, but not great for rekindling and going through again. Once is enough..Tama na yun because some people, no matter how strong they may seem, when they're all alone at the end of the day, you have no idea how little pain they can tolerate in their lives that it holds them back forever."

-samantha nunez, a highly quotable person

kinailangan ko lang talagang ilagay ito sa blog ko. medyo natamaan kasi ako eh. parang ako yung nilalarawan. ang saya diba? tama nga nman ang aking pinsan. minsan kailangan na natin kalimutan ang mga sakit ng nakaraan dahil ito ang pumipigil sa atin upang makaranas ng matinding kaligayahan.

siguro panahon na para hayaan ko ang aking sarili na makaramdam muli. salamat 'insan at minulat mo ang aking mga mata.

[read: this is my first entry typed in filipino. amazing.]

reaLization

2006-08-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

and now i realize how much pain i feel inside.

i've been lying to myself for so long. i thought i could handle the pain. i thought i could bare seeing my one love with someone else. but no, i cannot. it is just too painful.

i have always imagined myself as that person. now, my dreams are forever shattered.

i thought i could be friends with the other...but i cannot. i need to retreat.

i feel like crying...but it's too late now. too late to get what i love back.

happy

2006-08-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

last night JT asked me if i was happy. i quickly replied "yes." i really am HAPPY and it's not because i don't have any problems but because i know how deal with all the crap in my life.

"shit happens. you just have to wipe it off with tissue." -samantha nunez, my cousin, i love her

believe me, a lot of shit has happened in my life. this may come as a shocker to most of the people who know me but i do go through pain. i do not get everything that i want. for one thing, my senior year didn't start right because i lost the election. i love love love love love the student council and the feeling of defeat was as if a boyfriend, that i truly loved, broke up with me and replaced me with a new person. yes, i do miss it but what can i do? instead of moping around i choose to help out whenever i can and besides, a lot of opportunities sprung up for me. i would not have agreed to join any of the "clubs" that came my way if i was elected student council president. so in the end, it all worked out for the best.

there are times when stress gets to me and i feel like i'm doing too much. when these moments occur do i give up? no. i let it out. i talk to people who will understand. i go to those who will listen. most importantly, i slow down. sometimes people move too fast that they forget to enjoy the scenery and they tend to forget where they're going and why.

currently, i have a lot of problems and sleepless nights but i still love my life. i guess, over the years of dealing with so much pain i just learned how to filter out the bad...or maybe my heart has completely frozen up that i don't feel anything anymore. either way, i'll just keep on going. i hope you will too.

ULTIMATE SATISFACTION

2006-07-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of the most memorable nights of my ENTIRE life.

THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS LIVE IN MANILA!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh!!!! i am INSANELY HAPPY right now! i don't even know if I can put my thoughts into words! I feel like I won a million pounds and snagged an insanely hot (and smart) European cutie!

the entire araneta coliseum was jam packed with screaming and eager fans of the pussycat dolls. the four of us [me, joan, sam and pam] were patiently waiting on our Patron seats [yeah, baby!] for the show to begin...then, out of the darkness they emerge. you could hear and feel the excitement of every single person in the coliseum. it dawned on me that this is really happening and i got all excited. i didn't know whether i should cry my eyes out or scream with all my might. i chose the latter. i was armed with my glow sticks, digi cam and phone [thank God I bought a phone with an awesome cam] and throughout the entire show i was up on my feet, singing and dancing their songs. i was on an ultimate high.

our seats had a nice view but my dear cousin, sam, and her friend, pam were simply not satisfied. they pushed and asserted themselves through the crowd until they finally reached the stage. yes, they reached the stage. they were right there! sam came back for me and joan and in a few seconds of "asserting" ourselves, we were there! THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!! i am surprised i didn't die of a heart attack! it was as if adrenaline was circulating my body! it was so awesome!

the most moving part of the concert was when stickwitu was performed. everyone was singing. nicole scherzinger was getting teary-eyed while she was singing and right after it she broke down. she cried right in front of everyone. she was overwhelmed with all the support and love from her kababayans. it was so touching to see her up there, representing the philippines. i don't think she was faking it. i could see that she was really proud but if she was crying crocodile tears then she better get an Oscar because I believed it and so did a few thousand people.

it was a great concert. i loved every single moment of it. all the tears that i shed and sermons that i had to endure were worth what i experienced last night. the only sad part was when it ended.

i so love my cousins for coming with me! i will definitely never forget that night.

PICTURES and VIDEO will come SOON.

PLUS: I SAW YSABEL!!!!! oh my gosh! i was insanely shocked and happy that she was there! i couldn't believe it! we've talked about meeting up since she came back from london but i never thought that i would see her there!

BUMMER: although i greatly enjoyed the concert i really wanted fenelle to be there! we would have really enjoyed it together! i was supposed to call her during wait a minute but my phone died! crap!

hating home

2006-07-24T00:08:00.000-07:00

classes were suspended today and instead of being happy about it i'm bummed. i hate staying at home. it's boring.

the more i stay at home, the more i realize how much i want to leave.

school is where my friends are. school is where my mom can't contact me, order me around or get mad at me for reasons that are insanely shallow. school is where i have a lot of things to do yet still have time to dish out on the newest gossip with my friends. school is nice.

no matter how much i complain about the workload or how crappy my year started school is still good. it's the only place where i have a sense of self-worth, where i know i am capable of doing things, where i know i am good at some things.

i can't wait 'til i go to school tomorrow. i can't breathe in our house anymore.

* surveys *

2006-07-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

You've Got It Bad For Him

For better or worse, you've always got your friend on the brain.

If he digs you too, this could be a very good thing.

If not, at least you tried! You've got to make a move and find out.

You might discover that he's been pining away for you as well.

Are You Crushing on Him (And Don't Even Know It)?

You are Ready to Date Again

If you're not out there already, you should be.

Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship.

Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage.

Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him.

Now, on to a better guy :-)

It's time for you to start dating!

Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites.

Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights.

Are You Ready To Date Again?

Your iPod Is

iPod Mini Green

What iPod Are You?

i took this test, and it gave me my exact iPod. i mean EXACT. type and coLor. amazing.

we need more peopLe to save the worLd

2006-07-20T03:18:00.000-07:00

not so long ago, life was simple. everyone did their jobs and we were at a better place.

today, the world is filled with chaos, melancholy and hostility. the darkness surrounds us all. we need saviors.

there are not a lot of saviors today becase most of the people think for themselves. a great number of them want the good things to happen only to them. people have changed. they do not want others to experience success, so instead of helping each other they drag each other down.

i see no trace of peace and unity. they have hidden themselves from our world.

Pandora's box has been opened and hope, the one good thing released from the box, is no where to be found.

we need more people to save the world. bom, thanks for being one of them. =)

why make this entry? i guess i just need someone to save my world because i'm dying in it.

* UPCAT *

2006-07-16T04:58:00.000-07:00

05 August 2006 is the UPCAT day.

exactly 20 days to prepare.

and i don't really care.

ADMU and DLSU are the only schools i care about.

i respect all students who study at UP; but UP is just not for me.

a show with no performers

2006-07-12T05:11:00.000-07:00

the UAAP without DLSU is like a show with no performers.

around this time of the year bea and i are supposed to be all excited about the UAAP season. we would be finding out what teams are to look out for, looking for good players, and of course, cheering for the De La Salle Green Archers!

but this year is different. i didn't even know that the 69th UAAP season started 4 days ago.

it's my last year in high school and i won't even get to see my favorite team play! this is all so stupid. now that arwind santos is gone we actually have a good chance of regaining the throne. but no.......the DLSU Green Archers is suspended all because of two irrelevant players: mark benitez and tim gatchalian. i don't even know them!

i know that this year's season would be less exciting with the absence of DLSU. DLSU is one of the most prominent teams in the league and their suspension would definitely decrease the number of viewers.

There's no denying that the La Salle-Ateneo rivalry is the UAAP's biggest attraction. But without La Salle, I guess it's time for the league to build a new rivalry," said Ateneo coach Norman Black. "I like an Ateneo-UE match since both teams are competitive."

"With La Salle not being there, I think we should start looking at the other teams," UE coach Dindo Pumaren said on the other hand.

i completely disagree. you can't replace something as great as DLSU...the only thing you can do is respect it, and patiently wait for them to come back.

i can't wait for next year...a year of suspension is a year of hard-ass training...the other teams better be very afraid.

ANIMO LA SALLE!

do i dare go BLUE?

2006-07-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

i got my Ateneo application form today from Sam and i am excited to fill it up. i'm sure that this is a shocker to every single person who knows me because they all know that i love DLSU but i can't deny the fact that ateneo is a good school and i am starting to like it. sam, if you are reading this, i believe that all your efforts of forcing me to study in ateneo are finally getting to me...but this doesn't mean that i am encouraging you to continue teasing DLSU.

when my brothers found out that i am applying for ateneo they said that i was betraying la salle. how sad. it suddenly hit me: what if i go to ateneo, will my parents support my decision or will i never hear the end of it? crud. i am insanely confused right now. i need signs.

my first course choice in the Ateneo is Management Engineering [ME]. it is an honors course; which means that they will only accept the top 15% of the students who passed the ACET. my second, third, and fourth choices are not too important [nevertheless, i will still put down good courses] because i promised myself that i will only study in ateneo if: a) I get in Management Engineering or b) I fail the DLSU-CET and pass the ACET [something that's close to impossible].

self-question: do i dare go blue?

friendLy competition

2006-06-30T04:45:00.000-07:00

the miting de avance was held today...and i blew it.

people expected a lot from me and i failed to meet their expectations. bummer.

jeremy, however, did very well. i was really proud of him. he did an awesome job. i know he will win...and that's ok. seriously. you might not believe it but i will be very happy for him if he wins. =)

we are very close friends and this "competition" won't ruin that friendship. we talked with t. joy for a long time after classes and i enjoyed our conversation. if i win, he will be very happy for me and if he wins i will be happy for him. we both know that whatever happens the two of us we will be active this school year. we will help each other out in order to satisfy the student body.

congratulations, jeremy. thanks for being a great friend. i will support you all the way. =)

let it go

2006-06-22T03:54:00.000-07:00

why do u have to get mad? i don't understand why you should get pissed at her for making, what she belives as a, better choice. you should be ashamed of yourself. i can get mad at a lot of people for succumbing to the pressure...for not standing up for what they want....for letting me down...but i choose not to...because i know i should respect their decision. i know that for some unknown reason they need to turn their backs from me and choose an easier choice.

a lot of people are willing to let me down...just to satisfy the want of someone else. this is just one person. why do you have to get mad at her?

i am angry at you for being an immature brat. for making a close friend feel bad for expressing her true self.

one question: when has being real ever been wrong?

* school blues*

2006-06-12T03:05:00.000-07:00

yeah. new layout. i just felt like making a new one since school starts tomorrow. "A million stories and all the promises left unsigned" is a song of Mojofly. i was looking through my cds, picked Mojofly's up and this song title caught my attention. it's catchy. i like it. =) i love the pictures [of me!] on the left side. yes, vanity has struck once again. i would like to thank my brother, Miggy, for taking these pictures of me [i had to pay him PhP 10 to do so..]. i think he would be a great photographer when he grows up. =)

school starts tomorrow. what a bummer. i seriously don't want to go to school yet. this is the first time that i am not excited about going back to school. i am currently in denial about it. i hope to stop the beginning of school by not finishing the labeling of my notebooks and books...but we all know that's not going to work. see how desperate i am?

so, why not just ditch the first few days of school? i don't know. i just don't do that. i enjoy the first few days of school. i don't why, but i do. and besides, if i miss the first few days of school i might not be able to join the club that i like, i won't be there when they give out the area awards [not sure if they're still going to do this since they already gave us our awards], and check out the new students.

oh well, school blues. wish me luck for i face a new year at MDM tomorrow. it's going to be different.

randomosity

2006-06-09T04:24:00.000-07:00

i got this survey from YsabeL.

Your mobile phone.

1. What is your current ringtone?: i don't have one ringtone, i assign ringtones according to the caLLer.

2. What is your current wallpaper?: a picture of me edited through Photoshop =)

3. Do you own a picture phone?: yes. i can't live without my camera phone.

4. If so, what was the last picture you took?: a picture of me. haha. =)

5. Go to your text message inbox and type what the 10th message from the top say?: FeneLLe. =)

6. How many contacts do you have on your phone?: 120

7. Go to your missed calls. 5th missed call...who is it?: aLex =)

8. Who was the last person you spoke to on your cell phone?: my mom =)

9 How many bars do you have for your service/battery?: 6 bars =)

11. Who's on your speed dial number 5?: i don't use speed diaLs

12. Do you have any voice mails?: i don't use voice maiLs

13. How many contacts that start with the letter D do you have?: 9 =)

14. Who do you call the most?: my parents and the house =)

15. How many text messages do you get a month?: i'm not sure. i have to check my previous biLLs.

16. Can you send pictures?: of course.

17. What are the last 4 digits to your number?: why? do u want to get my number?

18. Go to your sent texts, what does the eighth one say?: Haha...=) cge, ingat. =)

20. Who's the last person that you called?: besh, aLLi =)

21. The last person that called you?: my mom.=)

22. Last person that texted you?: my mom =)

23. Last person you added to your contacts?: hmmm...daneda, i guess. =)

24. How many minutes are on your plan?: i'm not sure...i just keep on caLLing. =)

25. Do you like your phone?: abso-bLoody-luteLy. =)

BOXING

i attended my first boxing cLass this morning and boy, was it tiring. i knew it was going to be quite a work-out but i wasn't prepared for the rigorous training that the trainer lined-up. it was crazy. you get 30-second breaks every three minutes and believe me those breaks aren't enough. the good thing is i had a lot of fun. =) i'm going back tomorrow. =)

i thought boxing was all about punching. it looks so easy on tv. there were so many things to remember like your footwork, stance, weight transfer, and a whoLe bunch of other stuff. the trainer made me try the baLL that hangs from the ceiLing. the smaLL one that goes reaLLy fast as you punch it. anyhoo, it looks so easy but it isn't. i had a hard time doing it. i was reaLLy frustrated. i wanted to puLL it and throw it all the way to ATC. another tiring exercise [weLL, aLL the exercises were tiring] was the skip rope. this one was very easy yet very tiring. i had to skip rope non-stop for 2 3-minute time frames. it was really fun. it was a great outlet to let go of my frustrations and anxiety but i was extremely exhausted after my session. it was all worth it though. after going through that, i have a greater respect for Manny Pacquiao and all the other boxers out there. this is what they do for a living and they must train way harder than me. they deserve every single centavo they earn.

wow. i can't wait until tomorrow.

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:	Barbie
Specialty:	u get the most $ in yer thong
Customers say:	"She's way too hot to strip"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

How you really say "I love you." by lenatheraven
Name
...believe in true love?
Your hands say	I'm always here even if you have to reach for me.
Your eyes say	You're amazing.
Your hugs say	Nothing I desire compares with you.
Your kisses say	I am addicted to you.
Your body says	I just want to hold you.
Your heart says	Je t'aime.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Are you in love? by icepuppet
Your name:
Their name:
Love?:	Its love

Quiz created with MemeGen!

HOW DO YOU KISS? by 3circledsun
Username
Your Kiss...	Glides gently towards
...	closed eyelids
...	and succumbs to
...	luscious lips.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Australia

2006-06-08T04:48:00.000-07:00

i want to study in Australia. i really do. most probably, i'll be taking a postgraduate degree but an undergraduate degree is still possible. over the summer i've been researching about studying in Australia and i found a great school. Monash University. it's a great school. it's one of the top universities in Australia and the WORLD. they have 15,000 international students which means that they have a great program for international students. all of their campuses are situated in Melbourne, one of the most livable places in the world. clearly, i know a thing or two about Monash.

anyhoo, why do i want to study in Australia? well, i want to live there. from the first time i visited the country i immediately fell in love with it. it's so clean, the people are so nice, it's easy to commute....it's simply livable. might i add that they also have a wide variety of very hot male Aussies. haha. =) i want to experience living alone..independence never hurt. i want to make friends with people of different nationalities. i want to spread the word that Filipinos are effective people.

what would i do after i graduate from Monash? well, i can come back here but i would love to stay there. sure, i will terribly miss my friends and family but i know it will be worth it. i want to settle down in Australia. it's such a great place. i really love it.

*sighs* oh well, this is all a dream. it may or may not come true. if it does come true then great but if it doesn't it will still be great because i will study in my dream school, DLSU, while being with my family in friends. life is good. =)

one tree hill love

2006-06-07T00:17:00.000-07:00

i finally have the third season of ONE TREE HILL!!! yey! :) i've been dying to get it since francene toLd me that the third is aLready avaiLabLe at ruins. yey. thank God for ruins. :) and thanks Mom for buying the third season for me. :)

the first time i watched one tree hill was when i was a sophomore [wow. it seems like so long ago]. i was fLipping through the channeLs and i bumped into it. i watched it...got into it...and hated the fact that the episode had to end. i watched it every single week. i fell in love. haha.

i can't say that i got addicted because there are others who are waaaayy addicted. i can name names, but i'd rather not. haha. anyhoo, the third season is the only season of one tree hill that i have a copy of. why? well, i don't exactly know. maybe because i've watched an episode while i was in the states and i've been dying to find out what had happened before that episode. when i got back here ETC kept on replaying episodes and i just got sick of it [not because i didn't enjoy watching OTH, but because i reaLLy wanted to know what wouLd happen next]. so, when i finaLLy had the third season i didn't waste any time...i went on right ahead and watched it.

it is a very entertaining show. sometimes it can be quite shocking. there are a number of events that left me [and a bunch of others] speechLess. i didn't know how to react and all i couLd do was pause it and take some time to breathe. there are other times that it is predictable yet it still manages to get a lot of emotion out of me. even when i know what's going to happen i still get all teary eyed or mad. even when i watched the episode that i saw in the states all over again i still felt the same emotions that i felt when i watched it the first time.

one tree hill is a great show. i love it. why? well, because it deals with what we, as teenagers, go through: drugs, sex, alcohol, endless parties, love [well, we think it's love] and hook ups with rock stars [haha. go Peyton]. we can relate to it. some things may be unrealistic nevertheless every single part of the show is admired by its avid viewers.

now, about the third season. it was amazing. it is definitely the most thrilling one to date. there were deaths, a devil getting all the power, hook-ups, healed hearts, broken hearts, and a few cat fights [hint: new girl in town vs. brooke and brooke vs. peyton because of a guy]. i cried loads of times while watching this season...and you probably will too. the last episode of this season is waaaaaaaayy shocking and intriguing than the one of the second season. man, i can't wait until the fourth season is shown.

* the irony of it aLL *

2006-05-30T02:13:00.000-07:00

"and also being a sadistic non-conformist in this WHITE-SKIN-ADDICTED-PHILIPPINES, i prefer to be proud of my beautiful tanned shimmy than to splurge on Green Papaya Soaps or getting skin bleaches whatever you call it!"

i agree. who said this? nicki did [a friend i met during the summer camp; i linked her].

im very happy with my melanin-full epidermis. it's nice to have a "year-long tan" [as others might put it. i don't intend to modify my skin color because it's simply beautiful. the onLy reason i put sunscreen on when i play golf or go swim is because i want to prevent harmful UV rays from attacking me.

when we go to europe or north america we are praised by their people because they envy the golden hue of our skin. we are flooded with compLiments and they ask us what we do in order to maintain it. they try so hard to duplicate tanned skin. they spend thousands of pesos just to be able to get something remoteLy cLose to what we are aLready bLessed with.

shouLdn't we feeL good about this? shouLdn't we be even prouder of what we have? we shouLd. but most of us aren't.

in our side of the worLd, heaps of whitening products are being purchased by most of the population. both sexes purchase these whitening products: from girls...to boys. almost everyone wants to achieve lighter skin. almost everyone wants to change what they aLready have. there are even those who are aLready light-skinned yet they stiLL use whitening lotions, soaps, and other sorts of products that promise lighter skin. they are preventing themselved from being tan! why? what is so terribLe about being tan? are you afraid of being teased by others or do you simply succumb to the deceitful media that has tagged lighter skin as the only type of beautiful skin?

read: the caucasians are trying hard to get our skin, while we are trying just as hard to get lighter skin.

if you are morphing yourself into something else, then your skin is not to blame...it is your fault. you should change your outlook. if they start selling love-of-self pills, self-confidence creams, and self-acceptance soaps you should go purchase tons of those products because you don't need whitening products [well, maybe you do, if you have dark elbows and knees] or self-tanners.

we always want what we don't have. we are simply never satisfied. how ironic. if only we could change...oh wait, we can change. some people are just too weak to do so.

* love ko la salle *

2006-05-29T02:57:00.000-07:00

i finished fiLLing up my UP appLication form and i shaLL pass it tomorrow. but the thing is i don't want to go to UP. i just want to take the UPCAT. haha.

i reaLLy want to pass DLSU. i love that schooL. it is MY schooL.

ateneo is a great schooL and UP is ok but DLSU is the one for me. i bLeed green. they are the best when it comes to computer courses and i intend to take up a computer course [BS-ICTM].

i've aLways wanted to be a La Sallian. it's my dream schooL. that dream got bigger when i attended their summer camp. every singLe day in DLSU was so great. just being in the campus was amazing. i know that it isn't the cleanest, or the best located university but those things are superficiaL. it's how La Sallians turn up to be that matters. the vaLues that the La Sallian community instills within every student is what counts. and most importantLy, it's the green McDonaLds that reaLLy made me faLL in love with the schooL [haha.].

man, i reaLLy want to pass DLSU. everyone is teLLing me that i wiLL get in but i won't let those comments get to my head because there is stiLL a possibiLity that i won't [God forbid]. i don't know what wiLL hapPen if i don't get in DLSU. it wiLL probabLy ruin me. i hope i don't faiL. pray for me.

oh yes. some of my La Salle merchandise. cLearLy: love ko la salle! haha.

this was awarded to me during the summer camp. "ms. catch 2011" means that i am the person who is most likeLy to graduate from la salle. haha. how accurate. =)by the way, my feLLow campers voted for me...thanks u guys. =)

these are the three certificates i received from the summer camp. one of them is just a certificate of recognition, while the other two are real awards. i already mentioned the other one. the other one is the outstanding summer camper award. the campers didn't vote on this award. i think the facilitators did. thank you. it's basicaLLy seLf-expLantory. perks of this award: La Salle bag and they will contact me regarding my entry in DLSU. yey. :)

i'm not mayabang...more like proud.

* love thy clock *

2006-05-25T03:40:00.000-07:00

hello mr. clock man. that's how i know you. you make me appreciate the clock more.

now, i now your name. how? i checked list. how stalker-like, i guess.

i tried to find you in the archive of people. i searched through a hundred names but none of them was yours. it saddened me. but i will persevere and i will find you.

you immediately caught my attention with your messy hair and deep stare. how intriguing. i aspire to know more about you. i will stalk you, if i have to. i have warned you. be ready for me.

see you tomorrow. and someday we will talk. but for now, i will have to be satisfied with checking the clock even if i have a watch of my own. i will never forget you, mr. clock man.

* coLLege *

2006-05-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

i haven't updated for quite some time because i've been attending review classes at MSA. so far, so good.

it's starting to sink in: im going to graduate by the end of this school year. wow. i can't wait. i want to go to college already. i want to make new friends and get a new boyfriend [haha.] =)

i'm starting to fill my UP application form up. i don't have a course in UP. i don't want to go to UP. i just want to experience the UPCAT. haha. ateneo is not out of the question but i still don't have a course there, too. one school i'm sure of is DLSU. i have a course [BS-ICTM], i've been around the campus, and they will contact me regarding my application there [thanks to my outstanding summer camper award]. i just have to apply and pass the DLSU-CET...and i'm scared. i know a couple of people who are smart yet they didn't pass UP, ateneo or la salle. i can't be like that. i have to pass DLSU. i have to.

P.S. i don't want to go back to school.

* purpose *

2006-05-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

"the world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion."

i've been looking for ways on how i can make a difference and finally God has given me a great opportunity to do so. He lead me to World Vision. it is an international organization that aims to uplift the lives of the less fortunate...especially children. what did i do to get involved? i sponsored a child. i am sending a child to school. her name is jessica domingo. she is only eleven years old yet she is living a life a hundred times worse than mine but thanks to world vision, i am slowly leading her to a better and brighter future and all it takes is PhP 450 a month. think about it...if you can spend that much on a single shirt why not spend the cash on a gift that would change a child's life. in fact this PhP 450 will go a long way...it will finance the schooling of a child, take care of her/his family and build projects for her/his community. i made a choice and i feel great. i want you to feel the way i am feeling today. it's time for you to make a decision. would you be satisfied with simply pitying the children who can't afford to go to school or would you rather make a difference and change their lives for the better? we have to help our fellowmen because if we won't do it no one else will.

you may not be able to change the world but you can change the life of one child.

* randomosity *

2006-05-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

update on my life..if you care...stalker...haha...

1. francene arrived from the states yesterday. finally. she has been there too long. we left at the same time and i came back 5 weeks earlier than she did! oyyy...boy, did i miss her. i was the first person she called...and i'm glad...we talked about a ton of stuff. we talked about the places we went to....in n out burger...jamba juice...cheap shopping...and airplanes. im glad she's back home.

2. it's raining. mai gawd. it rained last night but i thought it was just a mild shower. i woke up this morning only to be greeted by a gloomy sky...and it was still hot. no sign of cold wind...or any form of wind. a storm is coming and i assume some chilly wind is coming with it. everyone needs a break from this crappy [too] hot weather.

that's it...felt like blogging so i did...even if i didn't have anything important to say...haha...:) ciao ;)

* when boredom strikes *

2006-05-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

hey there. my brothers and i will be having another one of our bonding moments later. we'll be going to town just to chill. i enjoy chilling with them. it relaxes me yet it makes me feel mature. i love it. i love my brothers, so don't mess with them or i will kill your ass.

anyhoo, i was blog-hopping and i saw a test that i should take. it's a test about how evil i am. here are the results. btw, thanks to ate beck for posting her results and sharing them to the world.

my results:

You Are 46% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

then, i thought to myself...i should take a whole bunch of other quizzes...so i did. haha. enjoy. :)

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris.
You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Heart Diamond!

You wear your heart on your sleeve, so of course you should also wear it on your ring.
A heart diamond is the perfect choice for highlighting your passionate disposition.
Only a true romantic can get away with wearing this ring. Luckily, that's you.
And only a true romantic can give you this ring, so make sure you find him...!

What's" Your Dream Engagement Ring?

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!
Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.
If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.
You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Your Flirt Quotient

You are 67% Flirt

How Much of a Flirt Are You?

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist
You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love.
If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever.
And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you.

Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)?

Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Mean Girl

You rule through teasing and intimidation..
Yet, people would give the world to be your friend

What's" Your Reputation?

You Are a Boy Shorts Bikini!

You're a sexy girl, but you don't have to let everything hang out to prove it.

What Kind of Bikini Are You?

You are Sneakers!

You're an active girl, who's all about function
You dress for the occasion - comfort comes first
Your perfect guy? Someone who can keep up with you.
You'll find him - but you might have to slow down to see him!

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

* in life, the only thing permanent is change

2006-05-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

for the past thirty minutes i have been trying to find some form of sadness within me just so i can write something "dramatic" but i have come to discover that i am simply too happy to find anything of that sort...and im glad. but one thing saddens me...this is all temporary. sooner or later i will be put down by terrible news and that's just scary because i am EXTREMELY happy right now and the gravity of sadness that would envelope me afterwards is usually equal to if not, greater than my happiness right now. *sighs*

" in life the only thing permanent is CHANGE... "

yes, unfortunately that is the truth. the problem is i am not too good on dealing with change. i find it difficult to let go of many things. here are some examples:

1. i keep A LOT of documents. i have a bunch of envelopes that store them. i have old test papers, school circulars, various printed material, etc. i just can't manage to throw them away. i keep on telling myself that someday i will need these and i will regret throwing them...so i don't throw them. haha.
2. i have a couple of gigantic memory boxes that are super full. i keep everything. i have tickets, receipts, cards, wrapping paper, ribbon, little notes, and a whole bunch of other stuff. why do i keep these things? well, sometimes when i feel the need to reminisce i open these boxes to check out the things in them and i find myself quite
entertained. most of these things bring good memories back while some summon the
sad encounters of my past. good or bad i still check them and i try to remind myself of how i was back then. i enjoy this...a lot.. i can see the evolution of me. it's amazing really. you rediscover the circumstances that made you who you are today.
3. it's so hard for me to say goodbye those who are leaving. i get all emotional when i know that someone is leaving. even if they are just going on a vacation of some sort it saddens me quite a bit and if a person leaves and will never come back it destroys me. i
get lost for quite some time. i cry..a lot. i begin to feel weak and incomplete. it's just so hard to let go of people you have made memories with. [e.g. DLSU summer camp, a couple of my friends leaving] it takes me months to recover. it is simply difficult for me to let go. i try to hold to these people but most of the time the circumstance just won't allow me to do so.
i know that by the end of this coming school year...i will have more documents stored, another memory box full, and bucket loads of tears for everyone i have to say goodbye to.

* first officiaL entRy *

2006-05-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

i love this year's summer vacation. :) i don't want it to end. i have met a lot of people and will probably meet more people once I start my review classes. i love love love it. :)

i don't want this summer break to end because i am not looking forward to senior year. it's just not exciting for me. it's actually saddening. why? well, two of the best teachers i have ever had are no longer there. T. Tina, the best history teacher in the whole world [no exaggeration], is leaving for Qatar and T. Kristin, a person who has taught us all to appreciate and love literature, is leaving too because she just feels it's time for her to move on. thank God T. Irene is staying. i like her. she's a good math teacher you just really need to listen to her. even if you don't take down notes you would be fine [although it is best to write the stuff she discusses down]. a lot of people are annoyed by her and they even think that she is an incompetent teacher but i beg to disagree. i have learned a lot from her and the lessons are easier to understand because of the way she presents them. but i can't get pissed at the people who don't like her because we are all different. we have different ways of comprehending things. oh...wait, another teacher is leaving...T. Tim. mai gawd. why? i don't know. i love T. Tim. he is such an awesome computer teacher. i get his discussions easily and he isn't boring. because of him i have learned to appreciate the power of computers [wow, how nerdy does that sound?]. oh, and T. Joy L. is left too. she's the best department head. she knows how to discipline us and she knows how let us have fun. she's amazing. lastly, i will no longer be with my class...romulo. it's just so depressing. i learned to love romulo. we just have an awesome time with each other. it was really the best class i have ever had. we completed each other. romulo was my support group. they were always there. this year we will be separated and i don't know how things are going to turn out.

i will really miss T. Tina. the impact she has made in my life is difficult to put into words but i will try to do so. the first time i encountered her was freshman year. i thought of her as the prudish little fun sucker that would make my high school years unbearable. but once i stepped onto my sophomore year my view of her changed. [probably because i changed] i suddenly had this high respect for her. i looked forward to attending her AP classes and i took down everything she said. there were a few times that she got pissed and she would do a long sermon but never did i have any negative feelings about her outbreaks of anger. somehow, i understood her and i paid attention to every single thing she said. junior was the best. she was our adviser and she advised us well. she made run for student council secretary and at first i didn't want to but in the end i loved her for giving me the push that i needed. our class tried real hard to not be a disappointment but we are teenagers and there were a few times that we pissed her off. she got mad, she talked...a lot, we listened and we understood. we loved her for talking to us in that way. she treated us in the way that we were supposed to be treated. i thank her for a million things but there are a few things that really stand out. she taught me [well, us] to love our country and to be proud that we are Filipinos. because of her i have strong opinions about nationalism and i deem those who are not proud of their motherland as stupid. she indirectly made me mature. she didn't tell me face-to-face that i had to grow up but i just felt like i needed to mature because of her. i wanted her to see the best of me at all times and i have no idea why but i guess that's a good this because i changed for the better. never will i forget her. she will always be one of the special people. now, she will go to another territory and i know that there will be other kids that will be moved by her. thank you t. tina.

last summer i predicted that my junior year would be terrible but it turned out to be one of the best years ever. this summer i am predicting a terrible year. i do hope that i will once again be proven wrong.

* summer lovin' *

2006-05-04T03:33:00.000-07:00

hey. it's summer once again ang i've decided to make a brand new blog. my previous blog died. haha. anyhoo, i miss expressing my emotions through writing. i will "contruct" this blog because it looks like crap right now. haha. ok, ciao! ;)

what abercrombie outfit is right for you? pics by LiLmIsSmArY0023
Name
Age
Fav color
ToP
bOtToM

Quiz created with MemeGen!

[U]ser[F]riendly[S]exy[S]tar

* forever *

* when one succumbs to darkness *

* The Land of Smiles*

*deniaL*

*bid farewell to my brain cells*

*runaway*

*salamat.*

* calendars=depressing *

*2006: one awesome rollercoaster*

*a picture can paint a thousand words*

*class 2007*

* 7 minutes *

*damn that storm*

*random thought*

*fast-forward*

*chicken pox blues*

*candy*

*i'd still want to be a lasalista pa rin*

*closing cycles*